Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Why are you worried about the Gujarat elections? Seriously who cares what happens there?

Every time around the "suspicious death" of Judge Loya is brought up, all the bhakts say "Oh no... it is a nothing burger, it's all about Congress winning Gujarat elections."

Err.. okay but I have questions.

0) Since when does an election in Gujarat get decided by how a CBI Judge in Maharashtra died three years ago? In what universe does that make sense? How many elections have you fought again - hundreds, thousands? and you still think this is an electoral issue?

1) If Modi was such a superstar as CM, why would Gujaratis want to embarass him by voting for anyone else in his home state? I mean seriously - ask yourselves is this even possible? It is nonsense. That man is the closest thing Gujarat has to a "gaurav" (Greatness) since Morarji Desai and he doesn't even drink  you know what.  He has inherited the mantle of the Gujara-Pratihara empire, will Gujarat ever step away from that? (Yes I know they did historically but you have yourselves pointed out to me that history never repeats itself... All that bullshit you dish out about never allowing the pillage of Somnath to occur again.. don't you atleast believe it yourself?)

2)Let us suspend my disbelief - let's say that Gujaratis are fed up and they will forget all that is stated above. If Modi is so badly close to losing Gujarat to an old and failed caste formula ("KHAM") by Congress and AAP - is that because he was a bad CM five years ago or because he is bad PM now?

3) What difference will it make to Emperor Amit Shah Jahan if the Gujarat election is lost? At worst he can dismiss his Prime Minister and Yogi can be elevated to the PM's chair or if Yogi is found unsuitable there is always Sakshi Maharaj or better still Suraj Pal Amu? - And if nothing works Subramaniam Swamy is there and if not him then Tejinder Bagga. So why worry? You can keep killing Muslims for whatever reasons - Love Jihad, Gau Raksha, Just-Being-Muslim, Being-Parsi-with-Muslim-Sounding-Name etc... no one will stop you.

4) Also what is the worst that can happen? So BJP loses in Gujarat... and then what? who will form the government? these Congress and AAP guys? Have you looked at their faces? How long will that government last? 1 day, 10 days, or 100 days? And then what? When all the criminals are in your pocket and so is the supreme court  what is there to fear? Let them be CM for a few days and you can engineer riots at the first opportunity and stop the movement of goods out of Kandla. Your industrialist friends will be up in arms in ten seconds and you can dismiss the government.

So why are you so worried about Gujarat elections being lost?

Don't be afraid, the country's name will be changed to the Holy Padishahi of the Most Exalted Emperor Amit Shah Jahan, the Most Magnificient, Omniscient and Omnipotent.

Who needs a constitution anyway? Who needs fundamental rights? who needs a Supreme Court and these pesky elections? When the leaders are righteous and the people are pious and the women are pure? Does one need democracy? I think not.

One can simply issue a one line instruction to every CIU or STF in the country and tell them to fill a quota of encounters. That will ensure sufficient piety is maintained and there is stability and order.

So my brothers and sisters, rejoice and sing noel, and bow your head down in sajjada - for out of the ashes of the Old Republic the Emperor hath risen.

* Also to my friends in the RSS, - Please start celebrations immediately, because otherwise Ishwar Baheti will be visiting your house early tomorrow morning and btw don't think he doesn't know what your texts and telephone calls are, you know who owns Reliance right? Okay? Got it. Chalo bhai... as long as everything is explained clearly.  


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